Long Lost Families

[Deleted]

I Love this show so I am glad to see it back for a new series at last.

I used to find it hard to understand how people can harbour such immense secrets for decades about secret children, until it happened in my own family and mother discovered her 'uncle' was in fact her half-brother, but last night brought closure to two families.

Imagine the horror of being pregnant at 14 back in the early 60s when it still was something to be ashamed of, to have your baby removed from you knowing you'll never see him again.  The couple last night had exactly that yet despite everything they are married happily for 50 years with four other children, living in Canada but they wanted to find their eldest son.  They tried to get him back when they wed at 18 but we're refused, consequently they had no idea if he was alive even.

I wept buckets for them.

Luckily the show found their son.  He had grown up in a loving family but he knew he was adopted and was told his mother was only 14 - that was it - so imagine his shock when told that they'd found his parents & both wanted to meet him!  The man is the image of his father too.

Needless to say I will be tuning in next week

[Deleted]

Jun 4, 2015 7:55:32 GMT @escargot said:

I Love this show so I am glad to see it back for a new series at last.

I used to find it hard to understand how people can harbour such immense secrets for decades about secret children, until it happened in my own family and mother discovered her 'uncle' was in fact her half-brother, but last night brought closure to two families.

Imagine the horror of being pregnant at 14 back in the early 60s when it still was something to be ashamed of, to have your baby removed from you knowing you'll never see him again.  The couple last night had exactly that yet despite everything they are married happily for 50 years with four other children, living in Canada but they wanted to find their eldest son.  They tried to get him back when they wed at 18 but we're refused, consequently they had no idea if he was alive even.

I wept buckets for them.

Luckily the show found their son.  He had grown up in a loving family but he knew he was adopted and was told his mother was only 14 - that was it - so imagine his shock when told that they'd found his parents & both wanted to meet him!  The man is the image of his father too.

Needless to say I will be tuning in next week

Yes, I always thought that, about living for decades and not trying to find their child or parent. Last night I could see how it was impossible for the couple to look even. He was adopted and that was that. It was a lively story and the father who was denied access to his daughter too!! I love this programme too. They work with them  so sensitively. 

[Deleted]

Back then adoption was final. No going back, no contact just nothing aside from baby photos.

I wondered how the soldier's daughter felt having realised her mother and gran had lied to her all her life, even getting rid of the birthday cards and presents her father sent for years after? I know I'd be livid.

At least they have each other after almost thirty years of waiting.

[ladypuss]

Jun 4, 2015 10:44:37 GMT @escargot said:

Back then adoption was final. No going back, no contact just nothing aside from baby photos.

I wondered how the soldier's daughter felt having realised her mother and gran had lied to her all her life, even getting rid of the birthday cards and presents her father sent for years after? I know I'd be livid.

At least they have each other after almost thirty years of waiting.

It was only in recent times parents, mostly mothers, had no right to look for their child, it was up to the child to look for them if they wanted to.

The couple were a lovely pair and how great he stuck by her and didn't do a runner as usually happens and the men in those cases are so called adults.  When the dad finally broke down after hiding his emotions all those years was heartbreaking. Their son certainly took after his dad in looks and I thought the son's partner looked just like his mum, weird ah?

The second story where the daughter found out her mum and gran had kept her own dad  a secret certainly came back to bite them on the bum, which is why you should never do that whatever your feelings towards the absent parent.  She definitely inherited his Oriental looks, it was lovely he got to met his granddaughters too.

[Lotty27]

So glad this thread is here!

Catching up with last week's episode now and am almost in a puddle on the floor! That poor Scottish woman who gave up her daughter Marguerite for the second time when she was 8 believing she was leaving her in a better place and not uprooting the girl as she was happy only to find out all these years later that the foster father had died two years later and Marguerite had ended up in the care system. You could tell that mother was genuinely devastated at that news, she'd been telling herself all these years that she'd done the right thing only to find out that her daughter ended up alone in a children's home. Heartbreaking, not ashamed to say I've shed tears for them both.

Still watching the episode now and haven't even seen their reunion yet - I'm going to be no good after this lol!

[Deleted]

It is the last episode that got me, the brother looking for his sister . She was taken away and adopted and he is now in his 70s and never got over it . She was found in New Zealand . So, so sad but they were eventually reunited . The only thing he had of her was a photo, when they were very little, of them both on a rocking horse.

[ScrabblyWabbly]

Just watched the first episode as missed it when it first aired.

What a lovely couple the CandiNs were, the husband had obviously bottled everything and not allowed himself to hope he would be reunited with his son. They said that one of their children had passed away, so it's easy to see why he got emotional the way he did.

I liked the other story too, both parties had genuinely been looking for the other so it was nice they got back in touch and that they have stayed in contact.

[Lotty27]

Jun 19, 2015 17:55:33 GMT LouP said:

It is the last episode that got me, the brother looking for his sister . She was taken away and adopted and he is now in his 70s and never got over it . She was found in New Zealand . So, so sad but they were eventually reunited . The only thing he had of her was a photo, when they were very little, of them both on a rocking horse.

I see what you mean!  I'm watching it now and that man's reaction when he found out they'd found her - OMG.  You'd have to have a heart of stone not to be moved by it.  I know I haven't walked a mile in their mothers shoes but I think that woman has a lot to answer for (and honestly, I don't usually judge anyone on this programme but I'm making an exception).  FGS how could she pick one and give the other away saying to him 'we wanted you'.  That might have made another person feel special but it obviously emotionally crippled this poor man who has lived with the guilt that he was 'picked' and his sister wasn't.  Oh my days this is so emotional, so glad they've found each other    Even though it's left me 


In the other story I think the adoptive mum (HATE calling them that when they've done all the loving and donkey work but it's to differentiate) is an absolute diamond!  Lovely woman and this must be a bit hard for her when she's done the mothering but I loved her attitude of wanting to thank the birth mother etc.  Like I say, a diamond.

[ScrabblyWabbly]

Jun 20, 2015 1:40:12 GMT Lotty27 said:

Jun 19, 2015 17:55:33 GMT LouP said:

It is the last episode that got me, the brother looking for his sister . She was taken away and adopted and he is now in his 70s and never got over it . She was found in New Zealand . So, so sad but they were eventually reunited . The only thing he had of her was a photo, when they were very little, of them both on a rocking horse.

I see what you mean!  I'm watching it now and that man's reaction when he found out they'd found her - OMG.  You'd have to have a heart of stone not to be moved by it.  I know I haven't walked a mile in their mothers shoes but I think that woman has a lot to answer for (and honestly, I don't usually judge anyone on this programme but I'm making an exception).  FGS how could she pick one and give the other away saying to him 'we wanted you'.  That might have made another person feel special but it obviously emotionally crippled this poor man who has lived with the guilt that he was 'picked' and his sister wasn't.  Oh my days this is so emotional, so glad they've found each other    Even though it's left me 


In the other story I think the adoptive mum (HATE calling them that when they've done all the loving and donkey work but it's to differentiate) is an absolute diamond!  Lovely woman and this must be a bit hard for her when she's done the mothering but I loved her attitude of wanting to thank the birth mother etc.  Like I say, a diamond.

Yes I thought she was awesome too, she said she was incredibly grateful towards the biological mum and I thought that was a really good way of looking at it. 

[Deleted]

I've looked at some of these and thought to myself there but for the grace of God go I.

I have bloody stupid idiot parents who had me aged 18. Fortunately my paternal grandparents took me on whilst my actual parents simply resumed their drinking and dancing as before I interrupted their busy social lives.

Actually I had thirteen happy years of love before myself and then brother and sister ended up with our clueless parents when grandma and grandad died within ten days of each other. It was a hard, horrible bitter experience which I determined to never put my own children through, no matter what came to pass.

My own kids are all adults now but inside I am still the girl who lost her mum and dad at such a pivotal point in life, yet I am eternally gratefully to the wonderful people who mean the world to me- my mum and dad. Not those called my parents either

Nurture has more to do with how a child grows up, probably more than nature really so those adoptive parents can be proud of the lovely people they raised even if they are not biologically theirs.