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Post by Deleted on Apr 22, 2016 14:47:08 GMT
Wheels hasn't "helped" Gary for days now has she. I'm really looking forward to her "helping" him some more.
I've heard next she helps him by telling Omar Sharif in the gym that Gary's put his past behind him, and he no longer robs houses, beats up frail pensioners, suffers mental breakdowns, or rips off kitchen-fitters, which results in Gary getting fired, sued, and ostracised.
Then she helps him by trundling down to the bank and explaining to them that Gary didn't realise he was ten quid overdrawn when he withdrew that fiver from the wall bandit, which results in Gary getting done for attempted bank robbery.
Meanwhile next Friday, she helps him by having a word with the social about how great he is in bathing baby Jerk, which results in him getting done for kiddy-fiddling.
Gary's really lucky to have Wheels fighting his corner for him. He'd be screwed without her.
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Wheels
Apr 23, 2016 8:38:12 GMT
Post by Charley Says... on Apr 23, 2016 8:38:12 GMT
I had heard that Wheels starts a Cannabis Factory in her pokey flat next week... She gets Sergeant Windass to hot wire the leccy... And employs Jerk as chief plant waterer...
It will save her a fortune in nappies...
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Wheels
Apr 24, 2016 8:19:47 GMT
via mobile
Post by roverman on Apr 24, 2016 8:19:47 GMT
Sadly I think this storyline is just going to fade out.....
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Wheels
Apr 24, 2016 8:53:53 GMT
Post by Deleted on Apr 24, 2016 8:53:53 GMT
Sadly I think this storyline is just going to fade out..... Sadly ? I would say "thankfully" smileys-applause-431206
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Post by Charley Says... on Apr 24, 2016 9:32:15 GMT
It better not... I want to see Wheels doing a five stretch in Style...
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Post by wallis on Apr 24, 2016 11:44:36 GMT
It better not... I want to see Wheels doing a five stretch in Style... Me too, if not for her being in charge of an electric vehicle whilst being doped up to the eyeballs then for her inability to act..........
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Post by Deleted on May 19, 2016 12:34:33 GMT
Oh well, it looks like baby Jerk is going to be an orphan soon then. What with both of his vicious parents doing stir in chokey. Poor Tina must be turning in her grave.
His ginger-nut of a dad is obviously going to get five years at least I'd have thought, for all that abhorrent drug dealing he's been doing. The disgusting pig. He hasn't shown a single shred of remorse either, and magistrates take an extremely dim view of that.
Meanwhile Jerk's thug of mother, Wheels, is looking at a ten-stretch minimum I'd say, for that vicious, unprovoked assault on that copper. Poor bloke was only doing his job, and the way she violently steamed into him was very nasty, very nasty indeed. We certainly saw the scumbag's true colours once that nice policeman had relieved her of the crack pipe didn't we?! Oh Christ aye we did.
I doubt the poor bloke will ever work again after that, his promising career in the force now all but over. You just don't come back from a beating like that unfortunately. The flashbacks alone will haunt the sod for years.
When the crane arrives and they finally get Wheels down to the station, I'd advise them to let her take her belt, shoelaces, and a rope into the cell with her. Then whatever happens happens.
Baby Jerk on the other hand should be taken to the most dense, thickest woods in the vicinity, and just released into the wild. The pack of wolves that adopt him will do a far better job of raising the twat than those two heavy-duty villains.
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Post by Deleted on May 19, 2016 14:58:13 GMT
I've just been down the pub for a swift one and happened to bump into an expert in law. Light-fingered Larry.
He's spent 41 of his 43 years on this planet in various prisons, so he knows everything about the old bill and the laws of this country. We often tell him he should go on Mastermind about it, but he keeps getting banged up in Cardiff nick before the auditions come up. He's practically a lawyer.
Anyway, I took the opportunity to ask him about Wheels and her drug-fuelled violence. You know, where she stood (snigger) and all that, legally like.
After I'd explained her brutal attack on that copper to Larry, he tutted, shook his head, sucked his teeth, and then said she's in big trouble. So there you have it guys, Wheels is in real big trouble. Straight from the horse's mouth.
Larry said she could get ten years for this, apparently you're not allowed to attack the pigs. I never knew that, I'd always thought the old bill only came to the football so they could have a fight with us. You learn something new every day, as my old Nan used to say.
Larry also asked me if there was a chance that the copper might not survive the attack. If the twat croaks it, he said, she's in even bigger trouble. They could give her twenty years for that. So there you have it folks, Wheels could get twenty years or more.
Fair do's, what Larry doesn't know about the law you could write on a matchstick. He even advised a mate of mine once to plead guilty and get it over with, when he ran that old bloke and his old dear over in a stolen Austin Allegro whilst high on crack. Did him a right favour, he only got six years instead of the eight his free lawyer said he'd get. So you can take his advice about Wheels as gospel.
I also think Larry had my wallet and phone. Definitely had them on me when I went in there just now.
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Post by Deleted on May 19, 2016 15:18:59 GMT
PS. Oops, nearly forgot.
Larry also told me to ask you guys if anyone wants to buy a tele and some ladies jewellery? He said he needs to sell them quick, as he's flogging them to take his old Nan on holiday to Barry Island. I pointed out that his Nan died ten years ago, but he said that doesn't matter, the old bird still deserves a treat.
So I said I'd ask on here for him. He said to tell you the tele is in great nick, and can be any make you want it to be, you just have to let him know what one you want.
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Post by wallis on May 19, 2016 22:41:06 GMT
Well is Wheels going to be 'Bhanged' up for possession of illegals and a violent attack on a police officer?
I sincerely hope so and never mind first offence excuses and a need for pain relief. See how you get on in Styal missus. Try running away from them bitches............ music-081
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Post by Deleted on May 20, 2016 10:37:33 GMT
Next time I get arrested for drink driving, being drunk & disorderly, fighting in pub car parks, or any of the other usual shenanigans I get up to, I'll be just fine. Fine and dandy.
I'll merely tell the Polliss that the law is wrong.
That will absolve me of any responsibility whatsoever.
If that doesn't work, then I will be informing the Bizzies that I needed to drive home after fourteen pints because of the pain. Such, such terrible pain.
That too will completely absolve me of any responsibility whatsoever. Even if I run somebody down. Just like the law, they'll be wrong too. They had no business being out for a leisurely stroll at 4pm on a Sunday afternoon.
I feel quite enlightened this morning to be honest with you. All these years I've thought of myself as a bit of a bugger, something of a rogue, you know a bit of a lad, when all along it was the law that was wrong and not me. Wait till my old mam hears about this, she'll be delighted to know that none of my lengthy criminal record is actually my fault. Her days of feeling ashamed down at the bingo are over!
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Post by Deleted on May 20, 2016 11:03:28 GMT
I've just been arguing with Mr Patel over the offy.
I tried to buy twelve cans of premium lager for a fiver, whilst he wanted to charge me fifteen quid. I told him his prices were wrong.
Even though I was completely in the right, the stubborn old goat just wouldn't budge.
"You have to pay the price it says on the fridge" he said, pointing to his marker-pen written cardboard cut-out-star that said "4 x Kronenberg for £4-99." "It's the law."
Ah, I said, I've got you there then, the law is wrong. He seemed astonished by the whole thing.
Thankfully after having watched Corrie last night, I knew I was completely right. Sadly, it appears I'm now banned from the offy though.
Anyway, no time to dwell, I'm off over the butcher's now to fill my freezer up with steaks for a tenner. His prices too are wrong.
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Wheels
May 20, 2016 11:10:16 GMT
via mobile
Post by roverman on May 20, 2016 11:10:16 GMT
I wish this storyline HAD faded out....
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Post by Deleted on May 20, 2016 12:19:56 GMT
On my way back from the Butcher's, I couldn't help but notice my neighbour's beautiful rose bushes. They really are a sight to behold, stood there looking all nicely pruned and resplendent. So I've just dug four of them up and planted them in my garden. It's probably against the law, but the law is wrong. Wheels has been very helpful to me this week, fair do's. PS. Giant rump steaks for tea tonight.
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Post by Deleted on May 21, 2016 11:19:59 GMT
Cor Anna got lucky last night, real lucky. If she hadn't stormed out of the room crying when Wheels insulted her, I dread to think what might have happened next.
Wheels was already revving her chair engine. Giving her the 'look.' Just getting ready to steam in there and give her a slice of what that poor copper had endured. You know that one who she viciously beat up the other day.
Wheels has become a real hard-nut since getting hooked on drugs. Becoming a junkie has been great for her; it's really given her the confidence to lash out at people. Proof if ever it were needed that those people who say drugs are bad for you are talking through their backsides.
In fact Wheels must be one of the hardest blokes on the street right now. I doubt you'll see anyone giving her any lip ever again once all this gets out. Everyone that knows her, even her family, are only ever one poorly-judged comment away from a good smack in the mouth.
I think she'll buy a gun next.
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